Hey 2020, here's looking at you kid.



Dear 2020,

You no good ass motherfucker, you. Just kidding, I had to shake shit up before I got into what I wanted to say. You know, keep you on your toes and what not. Just the way you've done to all of us. Anyway, can you believe we made it this far? This year has been one for the books as we all know but who knew it would reroute lives in the most special way? I surely didn't. I walked into this year on a high I hadn't felt before. In a country AND continent I didn't think I'd ever see. I really believe if I hadn't gone to Ghana this past year would have been very different for me. But I was and the power I gained from the experience has done wonders for my mind. See, you were supposed to be one of the best years of my life. You were going to lead me towards greatness and finally help me get those creative projects and thoughts out. You were supposed to anyway. Instead you broke me down to a speck of dust and then told me to gather the pieces if I truly felt like the star I said I was. How cruel and direct. A move I would definitely pull on someone else yet here I am with the tables turned on me, lmao you son of a bitch. So I did as I was told, I gathered and gathered endlessly. I searched high and low for every piece you seemed to have snatched away from me and in the end it left me tired, broken and frustrated. I cried, a lot. I felt disappointed, a lot. I felt an array of emotions about myself and everyone I've let within my world; yes my world because if we're being honest here people don't let me into their world, I let them into mine. * deep sigh* Who told you to give me everything I wanted but only if I worked for it?? God perhaps. Yes, we will stick to God with this one for God is who I seek most of all outside of myself. See, I really thought this year was the year I got on. The year people learned my name and art. WRONG. Hella wrong. But also, not bad at all. I got to let loose man. I got to let myself go and eat all the food in the world my Mom wanted to cook for me. Sleep in every single day without having to commit to anything else but myself. I got to spend time with my family that I hadn't been able to do in years!!! Dude, you did what was needed to be done. In the middle of the storm life feels like it's over. And then I always remember one thought. It's a thought that has gotten me to keep pushing year after year. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps that's religion in hindsight you know? We walk these dark and lonely walks thinking we're alone. Feeling very, very alone yet little do we know. We always have everything we need even when we feel we don't. Keep pushing, keep digging, keep walking with your head held high and without fear because God is absolutely there. There is light you just have to keep walking, keep going! Don't give up because even if no one else will tell you this I believe in you and more importantly YOU believe in yourself enough to know you can make it. And just so we're clear this isn't a religious post. Whoever your God is even if its yourself, believe that you can accomplish and achieve it all. Never walk in fear because you were NOT built in fear! 2020 gave us lessons, it gave us heartache, it gave us, LIFE! I know a lot of us lost so much. So many people we loved deeply and dearly. So I want you to remember those times. Remember those people. And show the world what you're made of. Live for those who are no longer able. Live for you because more than anything you deserve it. 2020 was a cold ass bitch, one I will never forget. But can you believe we made it through? I told you there was light at the end of the tunnel. And what's more is the light turned out to be you. So 2020, I thank you. I thank you for everything you have given me and everything you have taken away. May the next steps going forward be so fruitful and abundant it overflows into my neighbors house, their neighbors house and their neighbors house and beyond until it reaches each soul on this planet. Because it's needed. I'm ready. I'm dedicated. And baby, I am just getting started. So here's to looking at you kid! You did it. You fucking did it! And now it's time to get to work. Happy New Year and never forget who you are and who you'll become.


-KMJ



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All writings are personal thoughts, opinions and words written by Kierstin. They aren't always kind but they are original. 

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